IMPERFECTLY ME

ENSORCELL

2007-11-01T16:45:00.000-05:00

And, internet connection willing, the post-a-day November super-spectacular begins. I will be using random "word of the day" entries from online dictionaries for suggestions.

ENSORCELL:
To enchant or bewitch

Here is the truth. I fall a little bit in love with almost every lady I meet. Whether it be their smile, their laugh, their wit or, yes, their body, I always lose a little of my heart to them.

It's tough when you're a hopeless romantic with a hyperactive imagination given to unfettered flights of fancy. A smile, a nod or even a tilt of the head can inspire a moment's indulgence of "what if" and "what then."

The DVR of my mind is then immediately clogged with little cute meetings and silly first dates, awkward moments and riotous revels and, almost always, the inevitable break-up.

wha?

That part I could never figure out.

Why the hell does every imaginary relationship that flits through my brain invariably end badly? It's like Nora Ephron writes the opening two-thirds of my daydream then sub-contracts out the last third out to, I dunno, some maudlin creative-writing goth girl who sees the world in shades of Nihilist Black and Overwrought Blacker with the occasional Ennui Blackest sprinkled in.

I guess I'm just a sucker for doomed romances.

Billy Joel, eat your heart out

2007-10-26T11:41:00.000-05:00

We Didn't Start the Viral

We Didnt Start The Viral - Watch more free videos

I am a thoroughly ashamed to say I've seen almost all of these.

Except the bear one. Hilarious.

Kneebird

2007-10-24T06:58:00.000-05:00

TODAY

I woke up today at 5 am.

I took a standing shower for the first time in a long while.

I crutch-walked all the way to the Addison station for the first time since my blow out.

I walked into Starbucks.

I found out I had the day off.

YESTERDAY

I crutched over to my doc's office. 45 minute wait. Hunter S. Thompson's HELL'S ANGELS couldn't allay my impatience, but chatting with the nurses who remembered me passed the time. They were happy the Playground's liability insurance would cover mah knee. When they weren't talking to me, they would gossip in Spanglish. I pretended they were talking about what they read on perezhilton.com.

The doc checked me out and made it official: ACL and MCL torn. MRI and surgery are next. As I was getting on the elevator afterwards, the doc grabbed me and had another doc, doc2, look at me. After tugging, palpating, rotating and generally making my knee miserable he agreed about the ACL and MCL and worried about the status of my PCL...not to mention the bugaboo of the Meniscus.

On the plus side, they want to work on me as soon as possible...and get me in a brace to limber (or unstiffify) my knee up as opposed to the immobilizer before then. The only thing slowing down the process of getting me gear and operated on is working through the insurance process.

No big deal, it's not like I'm running da marathon soon.

OR AM I?

no.

no I'm not.

TWO DAYS AGO

text to my friend

gray skies, orange leaves
rude chill winds force faces down
chicago autumn

her text back

yeah. do you think we can trust it not to turn back into summer this time?

my response

goodby stolen kisses on a neighborhood promenade and hello comfortably tangled limbs under threadbare flannel blankets.

THREE DAYS AGO

Femme Squad met for their first rehearsal. Funtimes ensued. Even though their first show won't be until February, I'm already worried there isn't enough time. Then again, with every group I direct, I never I feel I have enough time. Never. It always works out well in the end, but I know I'll still be thinking and plotting and planning and considering and reconsidering and pondering and unpondering then googling "unpondering" then thinking some more until the moment they take the stage.

TODAY

Laundry. I need to do it. Up the stairs. Down the stairs. Up the stairs. Down the stairs. But first I will nap. Well, maybe surf the internet. Then nap. Then laundry.

YESTERDAY

Doc reminds of Al. Doc2 reminds me of Ed.

Ed was my high school tennis coach. Al was the in-town rival school's coach, who I ended Assistant Coaching for many years.

Ed was, well, not technical, but a very drill-centered, very organized coach who really loved his job. Practices were tight. Discipline was solid. While you had fun, you never forgot this was a Varsity team and you earned your letter.

Al was, well, not casual, but a very amiable, laid-back coach who really loved his job. Practices were loose. Discipline was relaxed. You had more fun than you should have and it didn't take too much to earn your letter.

But both got results in their own unique way: League titles, tournament wins, dominating players and cultures of success.

I brought a lot of Ed with me when I started working for Al. I was a student of the game. I knew the Whats and Whys and Hows of strategy and tactics and practices. I ran tight drills and pushed people. From Al, I learned the hard part, how to read people: when to push and when to lay off, what to ask for softly and what to demand for loudly, how to deal with cliques and broken hearts and failed tests and ohmygodthelimotothedanceisatmyhouse! When I finally became head coach, I was a blend of the two: work hard, play harder, laugh hardest.

Doc is Al. He jokes, he makes me comfortable and you feel he's really on your side through the whole process...but the entire time, you kinda wonder if he really knows as much as he should.

Doc2 is Ed. He's obviously knows his stuff, and that's reassuring, but the competence is clinical and you never forget that he's the Doctor and your the Patient.

I hope Doc is there when I'm going under and Doc2 does the kneeball operation.

TWO DAYS AGO

I sidelined myself...even though Bella had a show, I had the Doctor's appointment the next day. I sucked it up and stayed at home.

It used to be the end of the world if I missed a show. I came to Chicago to PERFORM! I need to PERFORM! I must get on stage and PEFORM!

After 7 years and 400+ shows, the urge and desire to get on stage is still there, but the need is not so overwhelming.

That said, even now, I feel a twinge of regret I didn't play. I should have been there.

While my brain knows I did the right thing, my heart aches a bit.

THREE DAYS AGO

Joe Canale. Jim Carlson. TJ Jagadowski. Abby Sher. Karen Graci. Jeff Griggs. Angela Forfia. Kevin Fleming. Bill Arnett. Ross White. Dan Telfer. And many, many others.

Just as Al and Ed influenced my tennis coaching, all my improv coaches influence my improv coaching. I've stolen so much and tweaked so much more from them that I should be paying a tithe from any rehearsal fees I've earned.

But more than exercises and concepts, I try to bring their love for the art to every rehearsal and show. Sure, some directors were more about the ART and others more about the BITS, but in the end, it's about us enjoying playing with each other and doing silly and fun and sometimes mindboggingly cool things that make us laugh our asses off. Some rehearsals are better than others, but the love of what we do and who we do it with is always there.

ALL THESE DAYS

I'm sure I could tie all of these together with some awesome insight, but I'll let you do the work. I've been up since 5 am. Time for a nap.

Doe Ray Knee

2007-10-16T21:52:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been a long week. I have no illusions of a literary masterpiece today.

DA KNEE
The knee things still sucks, but folks have been great; from offering rides to and from rehearsals and shows, to helping out when I'm house managing or just giving moral support, a lot of people have made my situation tolerable.

Rene D. helped organize a fundraiser at the Playground. God bless him. Peeps showed up at the PG to hang out and have beer and chill to some music. Those who couldn't make it, sent money along with folks who could be there. Not only that, I'm still getting some folks telling me they'd like to donate some cash. Every lil bit helps and I was truly humbled by all the well wishers. I think that night's total came out to $750 plus some more as folks dropped in later.

Thanks everyone. Thanks very much.

DA INTERNET
One hour on hold. Latency issue not resolved by them, but seems to be clearing up. We'll see...

DA AUDITION
The Playground held it's all-female improv ensemble audition this weekend. I was hyped for this all week as I pushed for creating this audition and Incubator Liason Melissa Cathcart was awesome in getting it going and running it come audition time. About 50 ladies auditioned, many of whom we've never seen before, which was awesome for the Playground and the Incubator program in general. After two days of auditing, we narrowed it down to 10 lovely and talented ladies who I am very excited to work with.

Congrats to:
Sarah Beckman
Colleen Breen
Mel Evans
Jessica Farmer
Lauren Glass
Molly Henderson
Kyna Lenhof
Carrie Long
Mary Beth White
Molly Willbanks

DA SANDBOX
Two weeks in and it's going fine. The Sandbox is my little idea of renting the PG for the night and splitting the rent evenly across all three groups, so everyone shares the burden of covering rent and, once their individual portion of rent is covered by ticket sales, the ensemble can actually make $$. While the houses haven't been huge, or even moderately mediocre yet, the fact that I'm *still* getting inquiries for slots and folks asking about *next* year's slots means I've hit on something. The big bonus for all this is that Bella headlines every show, so it's a nice way for us to play once a week and mess around with forms--with my bum knee, we are gonna have to get creative as the weeks wear on :)

DA WINGNIGHT
They're good. Come check them out. Sadly, I missed two weeks of rehearsal for the Incubator Audition and the Second City Instructor Workshop, but I'm pumped to get back into rehearsals with them. My one year anniversary with them is at the end of this month and, honestly, I can't believe how the time has flown.

DA MOVE
I moved. Yep, with a bum knee. Hilariously, I moved in right across the hall with the subletter who stayed with us this summer. So, instead of 3F, I'm 3R now. Piero, Mike (my new roomie), John and Kara were the awesomesauce folks who helped my gimp ass out. Thanks, all.

Well, that's enough for now. In upcoming days, the life of a gimp, the life of an improvisor, the life of an uninsured person desperately scratching for some sort of coverage...

Love Knee Do

2007-10-11T13:31:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the lack of updates, but my internet connection has gone all wonky.

I will put it on crutches and limp in a big entry.

Not Feeling Fun-knee

2007-10-03T22:45:00.000-05:00

DIAGNOSIS?

CATASTROPHIC KNEE INJURY

I'll write later.

Thinking about the whole thing makes me...

He Said, Knee Said

2007-10-03T00:12:00.000-05:00

This morning I go and see the specialist.

The Bitter Knee of General Yen (aka Third Floor Blues)

2007-10-01T23:52:00.000-05:00

TODAY

Down the Stairs: To Jewel

Up the Stairs: Back from Jewel

Down the Stairs: To basement washing machine

Up the Stairs: Back from basement washing machine

Down the Stairs: To swap clothes to basement dryer

Up the Stairs: Back from swapping clothes

Down the Stairs: To basement dryer

Up the Stairs: Back from dryer

Down the Stairs: To the Broadway Bus

Up the Bus Steps: Onto the Broadway Bus

Down the Bus Steps: Off of the Broadway Bus

Up the Wilson Red Line Stairs: To Red Line southbound

(intermission: down the Addison elevator, the world's stinkiest elevator)

Up the IO Stairs: To Armando Diaz Experience, Theatrical Movement and Hootenanny

Down the IO Stairs: To home

Up the Stairs: Home

I.

Hate.

Stairs.

Catch Knee If You Can

2007-09-30T18:41:00.000-05:00

Today, I figured out two things:

#1 The intern at the hospital put the immobilizer on my leg upside down. I was wondering why it fit so poorly and took it off, noticed some writing on the side, and flipped it around. Much better.

#2 Always have the attending doctor double check the intern's work.

I can put some more weight on my knee now, but with the 5-day window between the ER visit and the Ortho appointment, coupled with the the complete lack of pain, has me paranoid my knee is absolutely jacked beyond jacked, doublejacked if you will, Freejacked if you won't.

Knee, myself and I

2007-09-29T21:04:00.000-05:00

Friday, unavoidably, I had to do some running around. Or hobbling to be more exact. Slow, sweaty, old man hobbling. Nothing like a fat guy on crutches, my friends.

Jumped in a cab to Starbucks to get my paltry paycheck. Hopped a bus to Thorek to get a copy of my x-rays. Grabbed a cab to Corus Bank to deposit aforementioned paltry paycheck. Snagged yet another cab to get home. Collapsed on couch for several hours. Attempted to clean my room. Slept better.

Saturday, luckily, I got to sleep in. Then I finished some of my cleaning and then zoned in and out during football.

THINGS THAT SUCK SO FAR:
Learning how to use crutches...when you can't bend your bad leg.

Getting exhausted easily from crutching around...then getting super frustrated from the fact I'm exhausted.

The sheer annoyance factor of not being able to do simple household chores.

Living on the third floor of a three-story walk up.

Googling ACL surgery costs and just dying at the quoted totals.

THINGS THAT DON'T SUCK SO FAR:
Very nice e-mails and text messages from my friends.

My knee doesn't hurt. I have the occasional discomfort, but no real pain.

Not feeling guilty about sleeping on the couch at any point in the day.

THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT IN THE FUTURE:
(all pending the results of Wednesday's Orthopedic visit)

Money. I can't work at Starbucks unless I can stand for a couple of hours. Just when I was crawling out of the financial pit... although if they let me sit in a stool and just run register, I might be back in business in a couple of weeks.

Improv Projects: Can't rehearse or perform with Bella due to my bum knee. Can't perform with BYB. Luckily, I can still run the Sandbox on Mondays and run BYB on Thursdays. I can still coach and sub-coach, but then it comes down to $ to get to rehearsal vs. $ earned.

Moving: I was supposed to move out at the end of this month. After a little over three years at Halsted and Addison, it was time to move on. Bum knee and money complicates things greatly.

BUT THE THING IS...
I'm still a good-natured optimist. Things happen for a reason and it all eventually works itself out. So, I'm strapping in for the ride and hoping for the best (or at the least, hoping for not the worst). Ever since I quit my Loop job last year, my life has been a chaotic mess. A delightful, entertaining mess to be sure, but a mess nonetheless.

Chronicles of Kneernia

2007-09-28T21:24:00.000-05:00

The End? Not so much.

* * *

Sonofabitch.

Thursday night during the Big Yellow Bus, I did a jumping kick to support the move of Jorin, who was playing a soldier of Blood Squad Alpha. I landed badly, felt a pair of pops in my left knee and tumbled to the ground. During the rest of the scene, I just laid there, clenching my teeth and breathing deeply.

Oh man. My knee. Oh man.

It didn't hurt. In fact it was slightly tingly bordering on numb. As Jorin did some sort of justification bit, I just laid there, trying to gather myself.

It's the next scene? Dammit.

I wasn't sure if I should move yet, so I slowly pulled myself forward once or twice, meowing like a cat every so often.

Ok. Ok. Slowly work your way off stage...dammit, another scene.

After laying still for a bit, I pulled forward. Then, hearing a scene opportunity, I just rolled over and played an interpreter in the scene, albeit one laying on the ground.

Edited! Get off. Get off. Almost there...phew.

I chanced standing up.

My left knee slid all over the place.

Fuck me.

I rolled over, set myself against the wall by the entrance and sat out the remainder of the show...just sitting on the floor and looking up at Matt Larsen, that night's host, standing in the wings.

* * *

After the show, I got pulled up into a chair by the entrance and chatted with the performers about my knee. Kat went to get her car to drive me to the hospital. Meanwhile, I bid goodnight to the patrons as they filed out. I even tried to hold the sponsorship meeting I had planned with that night's opening ensemble, The Riot! After a certain point I'm sure I was just babbling and they went off to do their own thing. Even though I was doing bits and making conversation, my mind was already locked in on one thing

I have no health insurance. Fuck me.

* * *

At Thorek, the attendant plopped my 300 pound frame into a wheelchair. He then promptly wheeled my bad leg into a wall. No shit. I laughed through my grimace. Of course I'd get my leg banged up more at the hospital. Heightening!

--Doing a bit for Gotsick's cameraphone--

Kat and I did bits, joked with the staff and listened in on the other cases being attended. I wasn't in pain, just discomfort; my knee felt bloated on the inside, but no real pain. Hell, I was sending text messages to pass the time. Eventually, a doc came and looked at my knee and confirmed what I thought--probable ACL injury.

Fuck.

I told Kat to go home since I had no idea how long I would be there waiting for X-Rays and whatnot. The X-Rays came back fine, I was given an immobilizer, crutches and a prescription for Vicodin (which I haven't turned in or used because I'm not in pain, well, not in my kneeball, but my armpits chafe something fierce). I took a cab home, crawled assfirst up three flights of narrow stairs in the dark, sent some e-mails out to friends, then crashed on my couch since my bed is in a loft and slept fitfully to the noises of drunk gay men and party girls yapping the night away.

The End

2007-09-21T23:23:00.001-05:00

The End. For now.

randomness

2007-08-29T00:27:00.000-05:00

wonderful song, wonderful act.

oh bits. god bless ya, tex avery.

man, I'm starting to feel my age. popcandy remake of a disney classic

money she come, money she go

2007-08-27T23:40:00.000-05:00

I spent the weekend watching Incubator auditions. Luckily, there were lots of new faces and some solid 'prov to be had...and plenty of auditor bits to be had, which really makes the whole commitment of a weekend much more tolerable truth be told.

Monday morning, I landed a job. It was a follow up interview from the Starbucks job fair thingy I did last week. And it was not so much an interview as, hey, you're hired. So, I'll be your early morning barista should you stumble in bleary-eyed to the Broadway-Lawrence Starbucks (which is conveniently next to the Annoyance). Thank god, I need that money. That sweet, sweet mocha money.

Monday night, I swung out to the Armando. Afterwards, one of the folks who had audited the SC Diversity callbacks gave me feedback on my audition from a couple months ago. It was pretty much what I suspected--solid 'prov, shaky acting. They would like to see me take acting/scene study/cold reading classes and improve my acting chops before the next audition.

Bye bye sweet mocha money.

I am a hopeless romantic

2007-08-21T11:42:00.000-05:00

I am a hopeless romantic.

'tis true, 'tis true.

Something like this makes me a happy person.

What did you do on Summer Vacation?

2007-08-20T13:00:00.000-05:00

The Recap Blog Where I Recap Shit You Either A) Knew or B) Didn't Care About or C) Knew and Didn't Care About.

Employment
Still seeking. Had a few temp gigs. Some shittier than others.

Improv
Sarah and Sammy became Bella (Sarah, Sammy, Kara, Seth and Eric). Sarah and Sammy still does gigs though.

Did the Second City Diversity auditions. Got called back. Bombed the cold read. (audition #7 for SC btw)

Did the IO Harold team auditions. Didn't get called back.

Still directing Wing Night. Still running da Big Yellow Bus.

Life
Still need to get one.

There. That's all taken care of. Let the deluge of new blogging commence...sometime tomorrow.

Back

2007-08-19T23:09:00.000-05:00

Summer vacation is over. Back to blogging.

Da Shatner Remix (or how L.S. feels right now)

Post Its + Free Time + Nerdery

2007-04-10T13:12:00.000-05:00

The Grind Continues

2007-04-09T17:15:00.000-05:00

A busy morning.

Getting a job: Several resumes sent out and a couple of calls made. Checked with SC to see if Box Office was hiring.

Getting an improv job: Followed up on a directing inquiry. Sent a resume to the IO Training Center.

Other improv: Did groundwork for putting together new project. Picked up House Managing shift at PG.

And so it continues.

The Hilarity Never Ends

2007-04-02T21:22:00.000-05:00

So, I really won't get into the specifics of why I was fired from the last job. Let's just say things didn't work out and there was frustration on both ends.

So, I've been waiting for the paycheck for the time I worked.

Supposedly, I should have received it early last week but I didn't get it until today (strangely enough, the envelope is postmarked with the date I sent an e-mail asking where it was...).

Thankful for rent and cable money for this month, I open the envelope.

sigh.

My e-mail:

[Supervisor],

I'm laughing right now.

A check from [company] arrived today.

It's for the pay period of 3/4 to 3/17, which is correct.

It credits me with 55.51 hours (and a smidge of OT), which is correct.

However, it looks like there was a data entry error--instead of a hourly rate of 9.00, the field is empty. Instead the Amount field reads 9.00.

So instead of a check of 55.51 hours x $9.00 for an approx. gross total of $500, I have a check of 55.51 hours for a TOTAL of $9.00. After taxes, that's $8.04.

:)

Looks like the April Fools joke is on me.

Any way we can rectify this in the soonest would be nice.

I can destroy this check or cash it for the $8.04 and have that credited against the correct total. Drop me a line with how [company] would like to handle that.

Truly, an epic tale is being written about this paycheck.

LIST #5

2007-03-19T17:16:00.000-05:00

Ensembles I've Directed or Subcoached:

Drag Kings
Kids With Feelings
Mess Hall
MISSfits
Plinko
Radar-7
Red Hot Hi-Tops
The Riot!
Sanford
Wing Night

plus
a couple of student groups
and
a Harold team whose name eludes me

YouTubular

2007-03-17T19:51:00.000-05:00

For fans of LOST and Weird Al, a fan mash-up...

Well, there you go

2007-03-14T18:29:00.000-05:00

First day of work, March 5th
Last day of work, March 14th

Fired.

Of course it was cloudy and raining and cold when I left the office.

In fact, when another job kicked me to the curb, it was cloudy and raining and cold.

I really gotta start paying attention to the weather reports.

(Ironically, I scored a sub-coaching gig right before I got fired. Some day I'll appreciate the coincidence.)

As time goes by...

2007-03-14T14:47:00.000-05:00

Monday night, Sarah couldn't do Sarah & Sammy due to a conflict, so Kara Moore from Kids With Feelings and Drag Kings stepped in. It was one of those fun shows where when the lights are pulled, you can't believe any time passed at all. Fun times indeed.

(Kara will be sitting in until the end of March and Sarah will return pending on how Ole Miss does in the improv March Madness)

Mark Sutton once said it took him about 7 or 8 years to get totally comfortable and confident on stage. I think I'm reaching that point. I honestly could show up for a gig and be fine whether I knew who I was playing with or not, whether the house was big or small or whether if I understood the form at all or not. Right now, I feel I can go and put on a solid show no matter what the circumstances and be happy with the results.

And to be honest, I'm most comfortable committing to a single-scene 20/25/30+ minute character piece than an 18 minute bitfest. I guess it's a satisfaction thing. As a performer, I love the depth and discovery of a character-driven piece more than the fast and frenetic riot of haha...although riotous haha is most definitely good for you improv soul once in a while.

Now I'm just wondering how long it will take to become comfortable as director. I've only been doing that side of things for 2 1/2 years, so I'm still evaluating everything I do; figuring out what's working, what's not and what I still need to do to become a better director. And trust, as insecure as some folks are about their improv, that's the way I feel sometimes about my directing. Maybe I'll have that all figured out in 5 1/2 years...

LIST #4

2007-03-13T10:10:00.000-05:00

From classes to teams, workshops to shows...

DIRECTORS, TEACHERS & SUBCOACHES
I'VE ~~STOLEN~~ LEARNED FROM
Liz Allen
Bill Arnett
Dan Bakkedahl
Joe Bill
Craig Cackowski
Joe Canale
Jim Carlson
Jimmy Carrane
Bumper Carroll
Bob Dassie
Kyle Dolan
Mike Enriquez
Kevin Fleming
Lilly Francis
Angela Forfia
Christina Gausas
Sue Gillan
Shelly Gossman
Karen Graci
Jeff Griggs
Paul Grondy
Peter Gwinn
Noah Gregoroupolous
Charna Halpern
TJ Jagadowski
Megan Kellie
Spike Kunetz
Matt Larsen
John Lutz
Rob Mello
Susan Messing
Mick Napier
Dave Razowski
Pat Shay
Abby Sher
Miles Stroth
Mark Sutton
Rich Tallarico
Dan Telfer
Jean Villepique
Ross White

Warm ups

2007-03-13T09:34:00.000-05:00

I don't like warming up for small-group shows.

Just give me some good conversation. Maybe some bits.

How's your week been? Whatcha been up to? Want a beer?

Then I'll find a little time for myself to loosen up or internally do some focus exercises.

That's all I need. Really.

But when it comes time to do a medium-to-large sized group show, I'll dive headfirst into the all the gayballs warmups people want to do. I hate it, but I commit heart and soul. For me, it's a little thing to get the blood moving and to overtly show, "hey, I'm here for you!" ...and then I'll find a little time for myself to loosen up or internally do some focus exercises.

No one's too good for warm ups (as in "I'm so awesome warming up is a waste of my time"), but not everyone gets the same things from warm ups. I think that takes a while to learn, to not automatically judge someone who doesn't like warm ups.

After awhile of doing this improv thing, you start to find what works for you in general. Just as importantly, you learn when to backburner your own thing to help others warm up and get ready to rock out a show.

I'm sure the irony is that as a director, I pretty much mandate a warm up for all my groups.

Go figure ;)

One day I'll figure out how to balance the individual needs and the group needs...one day...

LIST #3

2007-03-09T12:26:00.000-06:00

FORMS I'VE LEARNED & PERFORMED:

Armando
Bat
Cat's Cradle
Celtic Shame Circle
Close Quarters
Deconstruction
Demon (DEconstructed MONologue)
Dinner for Six
Documentary
Documentary South
Eight Foot Tick
Evente
Green Harold
Harold
Jazz Freddy
JTS Brown
La Ronde
Living Room
Montage (in all their infinite variations)
Mosaic
Movie
Organic Improv*
One Scene**
Our Town (aka a Houseboat or a Mamet)
Quartet
Road Trip
Scary Mary
Slacker
Walkabout

* not so much a form as a style
** not so much a form as a restriction

...and probably a dozen or so others I'm forgetting.

LIST #2

2007-03-07T15:56:00.000-06:00

PLACES I'VE HAD IMPROV REHEARSAL:
Basements (commercial and residential)
Break room of an office
Chase Park
Dining room
Gill Park (Every room, including the third floor gym)
Goose Island
Hamlin Park
IO Annex
Living rooms (beyond number)
Rooftop
Shiel Park (Every room, including the gym)
Sports Corner
St. Alphonsus
and
some (actor studio place) on Lincoln Ave.

LIST #1

2007-02-28T15:54:00.000-06:00

As my 7-year anniversary of Chicago 'proving creeps up, I thought it would be fun to occasionally post a list.

Today's list...

ENSEMBLES I'VE PLAYED WITH:
Adjustable Wrench (Playground)
Big Yellow Bus (Playground)
The Bruise (Independent)
Celtic Shame Circle (IO 5b)
Condiments (Independent)
Courtesy Sleeve (Independent)
Deuces Wild (Independent)
DocSouth (DSI)
The Donk (IO)
Garbage Hounds (IO)
Home Run Kids (IO)
Homey Loves Chachi (Playground)
Jumping Miles (IO 5b)
KOKO (Independent)
Panaderia (IO)
Sarah & Sammy (Independent)
Therosi of the Shaar (Independent)
Trick Dogs (IO)
Uncle Joe (Cagematch)

phew

2007-02-28T15:25:00.000-06:00

Landed a job.

Start on Monday.

Thank god.

Extension

2007-02-23T14:51:00.000-06:00

Sarah & Sammy got invited to extend our run at Mullen's until the end of March (the Sarah being one Ms. Sarah Fineout).

We'll probably keep playing around with different forms and mixing it up between straight up 2-person shows and having a guest performer. Whatever strikes our fancy and all that jazz. For our Valentine's Day show, we did "pillow talk"--a single scene, in the dark, sitting in the audience as a couple chatting in bed late at night.

Ah, funtimes.

Oh bloopers...

2007-02-19T02:44:00.000-06:00

The Office, Season 2 Bloopers pt1

The Office, Season 2 Bloopers pt2

American Idol, "The Other Door..."

The Wrong Door American Idol - video powered by Metacafe

Video Potpourri

2007-02-15T23:17:00.000-06:00

WRIST CONTROL (vid)
A hilarious faux-self defense vid from some UCB folks.

THE WEB (vid)
A think piece of sorts on the internet. Interesting--trust me.

HARD-ASS A CAPELLA (vid)
Bitches Ain't Shit...a capella

SCARAMOUCHE SCARAMOUCHE (vid)
Bohemian Rhapsody...on a classical guitar

RYU vs. SCORPION (vid)
Probably one of the best cross-over fight vids I've ever seen

I tried.

2007-02-14T04:23:00.000-06:00

I honestly tried to go to sleep before 5 am for once.

I managed to nod off for a bit but vivid, intense dreams pushed me back to this side of wakefulness.

Improv, beer, coffee and an overactive imagination will do that to ya I guess.

Busy

2007-02-13T05:23:00.000-06:00

So naturally Blogger updates and I have problems logging in and posting a few light, airy entries after the last one. doh.

Silliness as usual to ensue shortly.

Not me

2007-02-09T03:38:00.000-06:00

Well, what the fuck.
Who woulda thunk I'd end up here?
Not me.

I turned 34 yesterday.
34.
That's a number that gives you pause.
Or at least me.
34.

So many things in life I wanted to be.
Architect. Journalist. Computer Tech. Film Director.
Among many others.
So many things I can still be.
But here I am.
Inert.

Inert is the wrong word.
There is activity. There is energy.
But is there motion? Forward movement?
I don't know.

I really don't.

tangent
joking with my roommate on his birthday:
to him - "Once you turn 30, you start falling apart."
to me - "I've know you for years, Sammy. You didn't start falling apart until you lost your job."
to him - "I started falling apart long before that."

It's hard to care about all the bullshit you need to get through life
Get a job. Pay the bills. Etc this. Etc that. Etc whateverthefuckelse.
when all you care about
(really care about)
is
a good rehearsal
a solid show
challenging your peers
sharing what you know
laughing with friends
maybe
just maybe
every so often
doing something worth a damn onstage
something that when you step offstage
you know
just know
you fucking brought it
from the top of your intelligence
to the bottom of your soul
you just fucking brought it
and rocked it out
and it's all the sweeter because you got rock it out with folks you love and respect and couldn't imagine doing what did without them there to push you, inspire you

disclosure
here's a little secret
every group I direct
not sub-coach, not fill in
but direct
I fully expect to be the best ensemble the night they perform
I never tell them that
I never will
it's not a competition
no troupe wins
but when the night ends
and notes are done
I honestly want us to be troupe that owned the night
the troupe other improvisors say "Good show!" to
say "Good show!" and fucking mean it

Right now
I doubt someone would examine my life
then come up to me and say
"Good life!"

I love what I do
I fucking love it with all my heart
I live for rehearsals
the exploration
the discoveries
the successes
the failures
the laughs
I live for shows
the adrenaline
the rush
the art
the bits
the laughs
but I'm tired
so tired
of all the other bullshit in life
I have to do

I've never been good with money
never
because I just don't care

it's just a thing

but now I have to worry about money
and I fucking hate
loathe
giving it
money
so much power in my thoughts

And those thoughts turn
and whirl
and mill
and fester
and taint
and rot
and then you start thinking about your life
and how you're 34
34
and how you can sum up your life in such a sad, few words

Broke. Lonely. Did some improv.

Then the other thoughts come out
the ones you thought you made peace with
but they sneak in
from places you didn't know were there
they come
during the tossing and turning hours in bed
during quiet moments in an empty theater
during sips of cold coffee
and it always boils down to
what the hell am I doing with my life
and
whatever I'm doing
am I doing enough?
and I answer

Not much.

and

No.

revelation
I'm trying to suck it up
I'm trying to get my life in order
But goddammit
I'm so fucking angry
(at myself)
I'm so fucking disappointed
(in myself)
I'm so
(myself)
that I have no one else to blame
and only
(me)
to fix shit
personally
and
professionally

Who woulda thunk I'd end up here?
34, unemployed and angry.

Not me.

World of Jobcraft

2007-02-06T03:09:00.000-06:00

Everyday I play a wonderful online game.

Millions of folks play it daily.

And even if you haven't played it, you probably know someone who does...or did.

That game, of course, is Craigslist.com

I play a Level 33 unemployed human.

Right now, I'm on the "Gainful Employment" quest chain.

Every day I try to farm jobs.

I usually try to pull with Send Resume (Rank 3).

Sadly, looks like I can't hold their aggro, let alone down them for their phat lewt like [Paycheck], [Health Insurance] or [401K].

Looks like I shouldn't have /jobquit before I got a /jobinvite.

/general
L33 Human LFJ

This makes me laugh

2007-02-05T04:02:00.000-06:00

Seriously, I've never seen this commercial. I wished I would have when I was younger...it might have stopped me from partaking in what would become a deep and nerdy obsession...

A lil' nostalgia

2007-02-02T20:11:00.000-06:00

Takes a bit to get going, but a fun little music video.

And, yes, that's most of the original cast.

No More Kings: "Sweep The Leg Johnny"
Uploaded by mango6

For Shame

2007-01-25T23:50:00.000-06:00

YESTERDAY:
"Thursday, I'll send out (yet another) batch of Craigslist and Chicago Reader resumes then I'll tromp around to various biznesseseses in my area and try to score a gig."

Well, I made a liar of myself.

Woke up late, did laundry and went out for a coffee before The Riot's rehearsal.

Shame on me.

EDITED:
OK, I sent a bunch of resumes after posting this. So I'm not a total liar, but definitely a procrastinator.

So, whatcha been up to?

2007-01-25T00:45:00.000-06:00

This week I'm gonna suck it up.

Thursday, I'll send out (yet another) batch of Craigslist and Chicago Reader resumes then I'll tromp around to various biznesseseses in my area and try to score a gig. Part-time, full-time, slinging coffee, whatever.

A part-time gig would pay the bills, a full-time gig gets me back in the saddle; I need clothes, glasses, contacts, etc.

My W-2 stuff came in early and I e-filed right away, letting me catch up on rent and stuff, but wow, when I realized how much my return was, I almost crapped my pants. Almost. It saved my bacon and that was eminently crap-worthy if I do say so.

But man...in a way how awesome has this been? Directing groups and using that cash to buy groceries, or house managing and using that money for sundries.

Yeah, yeah, sure it's not like I had much of a choice, but it felt good in a way. I was earning money doing what I love, and then using that money for stuff I need.

That probably sounded dumb.

It was nice at times to think my only job for the last couple of months was directing and sub-coaching and while it didn't pay the rent, it took care of some of the other stuff.

* * *

Right now, I'm working with two groups, Wing Night and The Riot. Wing Night is a former Incubator ensemble that needed a director and I happened to subcoach and got the gig. The Riot is a current Incubator ensemble and I'm in the beginning part of my four-month tour with them (I'm the second director of three that will work with The Riot over a year). With Chrysalis Clark retired and my temporary hiatus from Big Yellow Bus due to Riot rehearsal/BYB show time conflict, I'm pretty much a two-ensemble guy with the occasional pick up show or subcoaching gig here or there along with the Incubator Auditions in February and the General Auditions in March brewing on the side.

Eh, I'm bored.

I'll end here.

Offbeat but Onrhythm

2007-01-23T22:11:00.000-06:00

Human Beatbox
A vid by Lasse Gjertsen

Drums
Another vid by Lasse Gjertsen

6 Drummers, 1 Apartment
An entrancing and intriguing short film

Linking Mood

2007-01-22T18:28:00.000-06:00

Yes, yes, I should be putting more personal stuff on here...but I've only been in a linking kinda mood of late.

American Gladiators? Total pussies.
(aka "Goddamn, that's redonkulous!")

Steve Jobs introduces the iPhone on MadTV.
(aka "So true, so true...hey, there's the Chicago people!")

Bundle up, nerds.
(aka "I would totally wear that!")

Best. Entrance. Ever.
(aka "I love the Monarch and his henchmen!")

Extreme Music Flashback
(aka "I made a pun! Extreme! Get it? Huh Huh Huh?")

1 more...

2007-01-19T05:34:00.000-06:00

One more to add to the previous entry:

KT Tunstall "I want you back"

Almost sunrise, still unemployed

2007-01-19T04:28:00.000-06:00

Up late because, well, I have nothing else to do. I guess nothing soothes the insomniac unemployed soul more than youtube videos...

Bare Naked Ladies "Wind It Up"

Matthew Sweet "Girlfriend"

Music Instruction Mash Up

George Michael "Faith"

KT Tustall "Black Horse and Cherry Tree"

Insomnia = Star Wars

2007-01-18T03:42:00.000-06:00

Barbershop Quartet

High School Jedis

Star Wars: The Musical

And, why the hell not...

They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard

Barry White Gollum

and, of course...

Tom Wilson aka Biff from Back to the Future doing some stand up

Killing Time

2007-01-17T12:49:00.000-06:00

Well, while waiting to find out if I scored a part time job, I might as well share what I find on the intratubes...

007s (vid)
All the James Bonds play a hand of poker

Tom Hanks 007 (vid)
The newest James Bond

Monday Clicks

2007-01-14T23:49:00.000-06:00

Jack Bauer Kill Count (link)
Six seasons of Jack kicking ass and taking names

McFerrin (vids)
Ave Maria, riffing on Bach, a cool audience participation piece and being a good sport

OJ (link)
Newsweek had a peek at OJ's now-canceled book

Statues Remixed (link)
Famous statues photoshopped

Waxing!!! (vid)
Women getting their first waxing. (safe for work and hilarious)

Wild Thing (vid)
Mother effin' Hendrix, y'all!

Oh, Rumination, You Imposing Guest

2007-01-11T08:06:00.000-06:00

Scattered improv thoughts.

*

The more I direct improv the more I feel this way about my ensembles:

Their successes are theirs; their failures are mine.

*

I told someone today regarding looking at leaving their ensemble and move on to a new one, specifically what they wanted in a new ensemble -- "Be honest with yourself. Don't lie. Because you'll only be angry at yourself when you realize the truth."

*

This article made me realize that for all the cynical memories I have of IO, I've forgotten all the good times, great times and superduperawesomest times I had there. I still visit on occasion, but the memories and feelings get all jumbled together every time I have a moment to myself and let the past sink in.

*

I will never feel like I've done enough. I will always feel I could've done more and done it better. One day I will make a list of everything I've accomplished and I know I'll look at it and wonder why it seems like so little.

Girls

2007-01-10T16:15:00.000-06:00

Dear Girls,

I like you.

But sometimes I'm awkward around you.

Sammy

PS
Sometimes I'll say something dumb too.

PPS
Really dumb.

PPPS
Like "ohmygooddidhejustsaywhatIthoughthesaid" dumb.

PPPPS
I was probably trying to be funny or something. And failed miserably. But the other stuff I said was probably funny.

PPPPPS
Maybe. Probably not.

PPPPPPS
If anything I'm earnest. And honest. And witty. And funny (mostly). And I listen to you because I'm genuinely interested in what you have to say. Isn't that what it's supposed to be about, that connection? That ineffable interaction between people?

PPPPPPPS
But I'm not smooth. Not. At. All.

PPPPPPPPS
I wish I could be a total dick jerkface sonofabitch motherfucker badass. But that's not me.

PPPPPPPPPS
I wish I could be a Cassanova Romeo sexyabs sultrystubbleface. But that's not me either.

PPPPPPPPPPS
But, yeah, girls I like you.

PPPPPPPPPPPS
like like you.

PPPPPPPPPPPPS
uh, yeah.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPS
I mentioned the awkward thing, right?

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPS
Ok.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPS
*whistles*

Fucked Up

2007-01-09T00:35:00.000-06:00

We're all fucked up in our own wonderful way.

Me.
You.
Everyone.

All of us.

Wonderfully, beautifully fucked up.

And that's what makes us interesting.

Links? You betcha

2007-01-08T22:25:00.000-06:00

12 (link)
The very first 12 issues of Thrasher on line

50 (vid)
Top 50 music videos of 2006

Ambient (vid)
Video for Be Good or Be Gone, sung with ambient sound

CSI: Corny (vid)
A collection of crappy CSI: Miami one-liners

Fingerboarding (vid)
Tiny skateboard, big tricks.

Indexed (link)
Venn diagrams + Humor = Awesome

and finally

Poo (link)
From the upcoming Scrubs musical episode

Natural Lifespan of a Butterfly

2007-01-06T15:25:00.000-06:00

Today Chrysalis Clark decided to retire. After a brief but honest chat on the sunny side steps of Gill Park, we had lunch and laughs at the nearby Horizon Cafe. I'm glad Chrysalis Clark decided it was a good time to move on and to end things on a positive note. It was a good year and a good run.

Kudos to you, Chrysalis Clark.

Working Man...

2007-01-03T22:04:00.000-06:00

A 3-day temp stint is kicking my ass.

After 2 months of unemployment, I jumped at the the chance for a short gig and some quick cash. It's simple--handing out CTA U-Pass cards to DePaul students, but sitting all day at a table from 7:00 - 6:00 checking IDs and swiping cards is mindnumbing and soulsucking.

Ah, the things we do for money.

Wow

2006-12-27T14:14:00.000-06:00

Eating on a dollar a day for a month.

Shame on teh interwebz

2006-12-27T12:55:00.000-06:00

While I've been surfing and looking for a job today, I've been watching The Office in a separate browser alongside my main browser.

The Office season 1

The Office season 2

The Office season 3

I wonder if I can find Deadwood...

Remembering...

2006-12-27T09:10:00.000-06:00

Honoring the passing of James Brown and Gerald Ford...via SNL bits.

James Brown Celebrity Hot Tub!

Tom Brokaw announces Gerald Ford's death

Freefall

2006-12-26T08:10:00.000-06:00

I created a new blog specifically for when I'm inspired to write about specific improv things. Click over whenever you're in the mood.

Christmas Potpourri

2006-12-25T17:48:00.000-06:00

Dick In a Box (uncensored) (vid)
The latest SNL digital short

Heckler (vid)
Joe Rogan shows us how to handle a heckler

Pachelbel (vid)
Comedian's musical rant about Pachelbel's Canon in D

Make You Happy Tonight (vid)
Comedic trio sing the sad truth about videogamers

Scary Mary (vid)
Mary Poppins recut as horror movie trailer

And in honor of all these vids, I present YouTube v Google Video v Revver. Make sure all three can be seen on your screen and push play on all of them at the same time.

Ramble

2006-12-21T00:30:00.000-06:00

People have told me I have a talent for directing.

I just say what I see and share what I think and do both as honestly as possible.

I encourage people to ask me questions if they don't understand something I said or want done.

I try to illustrate points in terms both concrete and metaphorical.

If something is shitty I'll acknowledge it and then laugh along with the performers.

If something is great, I'll get as excited as if they had done it in front a full house.

I'm disciplined enough to have an outline of what I want to do and flexible enough to ditch it to follow the flow of rehearsal.

I'm not afraid to say "I don't know" and "I'm not sure."

I'm brave enough to admit I wish I was talented as the folks I direct.

But most of all...

I treat folks as I would want to be treated, both as a professional AND as an artist; I give 'em the respect they deserve and challenge their abilities.

...and scene! Two more up.

Once...

2006-12-18T11:07:00.000-06:00

Once I wondered where all the money went.

Now I wonder where the money will come from.

It's hard not to be scared.

Not anxious.

Scared.

Holy shit...

2006-12-13T04:50:00.000-06:00

Almost two months without a post.

Wow.

I shall return to my daily musings post-haste...

...after all, I've been unemployed for almost two months.

Hmmmm.

Directing Fool

2006-10-24T11:00:00.000-05:00

Chrysalis Clark tapes a pair of shows this Thursday to submit to the Seattle Festival of Improv; one full 30-minute show during the Big Yellow Bus slot and one quick 15-minutes show during the Open Court slot. Chrissy's boyfriend, Louie, is not only kind enough to loan us his camera for the shoot, but to digitize and burn the footage the next day so we can FedEx the package out to SFIT before the deadline.

I just got hired by Wing Night to be their director. It was one of serendipitous things where I had an off weekend from CC and did a pick up sub gig with WN, while concurrently working with a trio of WN peeps who were heading down to the Gainesville Improv Festival. Both the mini-WN and the full WN rehearsals went well and now I'm a hired gun. Bang! On a nice note, the WN crew at GIF had a good show. Bang! Bang!

I'm doing some pick up sub gigs with Mess Hall although, yikes schnikes, I pulled a boner of a move last night. I was absolutely positive that rehearsal began at 7:30 when it had, in fact, begun at 7:00. I was hanging out at Sayjal and Chrissy's beforehand killing time and watching Sayjal's Sonic commercials only blocks away from Gill Park. So when I strolled in 10 minutes early I was actually 20 minutes late. D'oh! I kept the rehearsal moving and on point, ran over a little bit to make up for lost time and at the end waived my coach's fee ($5/head). Seriously, I was unprofessional and made them wait for me for 20 minutes, so there was no way I could take their money in good faith. It was the least I could do and I treated it as a little lesson in humility for myself.

The other week I subbed in to give show notes to The Riot, the incubator team that I am slated to run for four months starting in January. It was an interesting experience to try to give notes without stepping on the current director's toes...which always the case any time I sub in for show notes for any group. The worst part was I was operating on four hours of sleep when I gave the notes so I was (restrospectively) worried I was rambly, discursive and disjointed. Well, come January, I'll be much more rested. Hopefully.

Plinko is fighting scheduling issues. I gotta get on that and totally Tim Gunn it--Make. It. Work.

So, tons of directing, not so much performing. Need to rectify that...

...And Again...

2006-10-24T10:53:00.000-05:00

Ah, Second City TourCo auditions.

Again we dance.

And again I step clumsily onto your foot.

And again I watch glumly as others gracefully ghost about the dance floor.

And again I drink with friends, laugh and hope the best for them.

Because I know...

...again we will dance.

Quick hits

2006-10-24T10:51:00.000-05:00

I'll post an update in a bit. A quick pair of viral vids lingering in my draft box for like 3 weeks. Which makes them ancient, antique vids in interweb time.

DRIVE THRU (vid)
Why just order when you can sing?

WAR ZONE (vid)
Classic album covers battle to the death

Curses

2006-10-09T19:04:00.000-05:00

I should be asleep. Or at least sprawled in bed digging into Ultramarines or some Vonnegut. But I'm not wired that way. My body wants to stay up past 1 am and sleep till noon. Stupid body clock.

Something the Playground Theater did this schedule was give a show to the members-at-large--people who aren't on a Playground ensemble but contribute enough to be considered a member of the theater. Because of my work on Big Yellow Bus, Open Court and other projects, I became a member-at-large. Sadly, the show was cancelled tonight as there was no house for tonight's show. Nothing sucks more than seeing the clock tick down to Go Time and seeing only the other performers in the theater.

Ah, well. Chinese food and DVR'd shows take the sting out of all disappointment.

I'll be back the PG on Wednesday night to catch the debut show of the incubator ensemble "The Riot." The Riot is the first incubator ensemble to run under the tri-director method--during the ensemble's first year, three different directors come in and work with the group for four months, giving the ensemble three different POVs and approaches to the work. Jorin Garguilo is running them right now, I'll do a stint starting in January and Roger Payton will take over in May. Jorin gave the most humorous analogy about our roles: Jorin was the warm and supportive mother, I was the no nonsense father and Roger was the cool older brother who had already gone to college.

Damn, I wish I was the cool older brother.

And of course I'll be back at the theater on Thursday for Big Yellow Bus. With Roger and Lisa doing most of the grunt work, it's become more of a pleasure than it used to be for me; for the longest time I was pretty much 'do everything Johnny' and it became a bit of an onerous chore to run the Bus (even though it was so worth it afterwards). I'll probably stick around and do Open Court after the Bus the next couple weeks to sharpen my chops for the impending SC audition.

So three nights of PG face time with Friday off from improv and then back into directing a couple of rehearsals this weekend.

Goddammit, why can't I make a living do this? Or at least pay some of the bills?

SONABITCHCOCKMOTHERFUCKERASSMUNCHJERKFACESHITHEAD

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKITYFUCKFUCK

sorry.

A fun week my friends

2006-10-09T18:08:00.000-05:00

Highlights of the last week:

Wednesday
Finally getting Jorin Garguilo, Kristen Studdard , Jessica Ring and Erica Gerdes
in the same room for a trial rehearsal for my next directing project. Due to schedules, we won't be able to meet again for a couple of weeks, but every one hit it off and it looks like this one will have some legs. My initial thought is I want to direct something character-based and folks seem game for it.

Thursday
The Big Yellow Bus crew had a closed cast (no guests) and did a solid show to a nice house at the Playground with a P.I.P. in attendance--I use P.I.P. (Pretty Important Person) because V.I.P. seems a bit too heavy handed. Like every self-critical improvisor who's ever been in good show, I felt that everyone else in the cast did great and I was meh. Still, it was fun time for both the audience and the cast.

That night, the BYB Maintenance Crew (Andy Carey, Roger Payton, Kat Gotsick, Lisa Linke, Lauren Lapkus and I) snapped some PR pics:

Friday
Took the day off of work and had a social meeting with aforementioned P.I.P. at SC, before and after which I kept running into lots of improv peeps I knew in the SC lobby. Lots of smiles of bits ensue. I then tooled over to River East 21, bumped into Chip Aucoin and he spontaneously decied to catch "The Departed" with me. The movie is awesomely hilariously horrifying. And after that, I ran into Dayna LaRosa right outside the theater and walked with her to the Red Line. That night, I beheld the awesomeness that was the Battlestar Galactica premeire.

Friday was a total nerdgasm: Improv, Movies and Sci Fi all in one day.

Saturday
Directed a Chrysalis Clark rehearsal. Truth be told, I really, really dig these guys. Roger, Andy, Lauren, Chrissy Swinko and Kirk Mason are talented performers who are genuinely good people. It makes everything from rehearsals to shows to socializing all the more enjoyable and satisfying.

Continuing a trend, we snapped some PR pics afterwards:

Sunday
Woke up early for a one-off directing gig with John Abbott, Jessica Ring and Kat Leahy of Wing Night. The Wingers are going to the Gainesville Improv Festival and wanted an outside eye on their form, which I was more than glad to spare.

I then got to watch the Bears OWN Buffalo. Now that was a nice capper to a fun weekend.

Speaking of...

2006-10-07T20:21:00.000-05:00

The Ultimate RPG Table (site)
If you're gonna nerd out, NERD OUT LIKE A MAN!

Speaking of Make Believe... (vid)
While the World of Warcraft episode was tits, Good Times with Weapons is the best South Park episode ever.

Speaking of Warcraft... (vid)
Take all things in moderation, including Warcraft.

Speaking of Video Games... (vid)
Inside Edition's 1988 piece on Super Mario Brothers.

Speaking of Mario... (pic)
The grim future of Mario. (And here's a bonus Mario painting.)

Speaking of Art... (vid)
Concept trailer for game-in-development, Limbo. Totally getting a Out of This World for the 21st century vibe out of this.

Speaking of Vibes... (site)
The Hoff says KITT was gay.

Speaking of the 80s... (site)
John Rambo lives!

Speaking of Violence... (vid)
Wax the car, sand the floor and tornado kick that dude.

Speaking of Nothing at All... (site)
Hypnotic...can't stop listening...can't stop watching.

Too much

2006-10-02T10:29:00.000-05:00

The other night, I swung by Mullen's for Jessica's birthday party and then over to John and Margaret's garage party. It was a Saturday night, in Wrigleyville, after a Cubs night game.

I felt overwhelmed.

Too crowded.

Too loud.

Too bright.

At some point in my life, I would have revelled in the cachophony. Sucked it in. Fed on it. Thrived on the honks, shouts, bumps and drunken vitality of it all.

And now, all I wanted was to haul ass out of Wrigleyville and retreat to my tiny bedroom.

It made me feel old.

Questions. Questions. Questions.

2006-09-28T16:16:00.000-05:00

Can't We All Get Along?
Zombie Rights march protested by pirates

Who's Serve Is It?
Volleyball over the US-Mexican border

Aren't You A Cutie?
Toupees...for babies.

Are We There Yet?
Seattle to Olympia in 2 minutes

Get It? Get It?
Marmaduke cartoons explained

Remember These?
Vintage products for kids from the 50s to 80s

What Does It Look Like?
Your cell processes animated. Holy crap!

Did You Wash Your Hands?
Teaching kids hygiene the fun way

Oh. My. God. When Did You Get That?
Vintage Disney souveniers

Whatcha Watching?
Full length cartoons available on YouTube

and finally...

What Time Is It?

Improvaganza

2006-09-27T10:43:00.000-05:00

Last week I was sick as a dog, sleeping poorly and starting to stress out a bit about this thing that I can theoretically call an improv career...resulting in some way jacked-up dreams. Even though the actual memories of the dreams have faded, the feelings of unease they gave me still remain.

Ugh. Stupid subconscious. You suck. Big time.

Big Yellow Bus has had some light audiences and a cancelled show recently. I'm not too worried as September is one of those transition months--people are starting school, watching TV premieres and sliding into their autumnal/winter patterns. We're putting together a little marketing push for October that highlights BYB's 2-year anniversary in November. Not only that, the BYB crew convinced the president of the Playground Theater to let us have FREE shows on Thursday for November and December. Hopefully, a new Thursday night tradition for performers and audiences alike will come out of this as well as a permanent free night on the PG schedule. My big hope is that Thursday night will pull nice size crowds who then become interested in seeing other shows at the theater. Here's hoping.

Chrysalis Clark has jumped back into rehearsals. A little rust and clunkiness after our brief layoff, but nothing a few weeks of work won't polish off. We're gonna tweak some things and polish others, using what we learned from our run at IO earlier this summer. We're hoping to land another run at IO in January as well as start hitting the festival circuit. Starting up another improv rehearsal process, then adding some new things while working on the old things and still keeping the work solid and fresh is definitely a new experience to me as a director. I want to keep forging ahead and evolving but not at the cost of forgetting the basics of what we do. It's fun and scary all wrapped into one.

Speaking of scary, I should be sitting down with Beth Kligerman at Second City hopefully next week to discuss some SC stuff. I want to meet with her and discuss TourCo, SC Detroit, my interest in working for SC in some capacity (performer, director, etc), specifically where I stand now and what I need to do to progress towards any of those goals. It's a bit stressful simply because, hey, I'm gonna go in and lay it on the line and who knows if I'll take a humbling hit or two during the discussion. Couple that with the fact it's the same week as the huge SC TourCo audition call in and it only highlights I'm one of hundreds of folks who want to work at SC and what the fuck do I think I can do better than, or at least as well as, so many other talented people.

I've got a couple of other pick-up directing gigs potentially swinging my way in the next couple of weeks as well as a pair of longer-term gigs starting up in the next couple of months, one is an Incubator and one is an ensemble of my own creation. Sadly, other than BYB, my performance schedule is sadly lacking. I honestly do think my stage chops are dulling from lack of weekly rehearsals with a director. I just don't know if I have the energy in me to wrangle up performers and forge a new ensemble...not a fuck around ensemble just to get stage time, but an honest-to-goodness "let's work hard and do something great" ensemble. I've flirted with the idea with hitting Mick Napier's, Rich Sohn's or Mark Sutton's Annoyance classes for a brush up, but if I'm gonna go back to class, why not take a session or two of ComedySportz classes, brush up my short form, and qualify for their yearly audition to boot? Either way, it'll take money, something that will be in short supply as I wind down at my job in the upcoming weeks...

Only 25 work days...

2006-09-21T13:06:00.000-05:00

...left until I leave my job. Until then, links for everyone!

COCAINE: The Ultimate Energy Drink

WHY MOMMY IS A DEMOCRAT: A storybook for kiddies

PAPER, ROCK, SCISSORS: Big art, big cash and a simple game

GOLDEN BOOK OF CHEMISTRY EXPERIMENTS: Formerly banned book now available for free on the intrawebs. Related: The Radioactive Boyscout, the boy who tried to build a nuclear breeder reactor in his backyard at age 17.

TIMES TRAVEL: New York Times archives to 1851 are now available to subscribers.

X-PLAY: An actor's bad experience at G4's flagship show...

SCI FI EYE CANDY: Visual sci fi mag index. Cooler than it sounds.

Submitted for your approval

2006-09-19T00:02:00.000-05:00

Unorthodox Taxidermy: Theodore Geisel, the World's Most Eminent Authority on Unheard-Of Animals.

Mario Wedding Cake: Bestest wife ever.

Drummer Prodigy: Tiny tyke, tremendous talent.

Anime Race: Wacky Racers, anime-style.

NYC Subway Smell Map: The sweet smell of city subways.

White and Nerdy

2006-09-15T22:32:00.000-05:00

Weird Al Yankovic was the gateway humorist.

The irreverent parody songs. The silly polka mashups. The crazy getup. I was hooked on the unabashed nerdery of it all.

Once he infected my sense of humor, I was corrupted for good. I'd twiddle with my radio to catch Dr. Demento shows from Ann Arbor on Sunday nights. I'd spend my cash on whatever cassettes I could find at Sam Goody's or Musicland at Southland Mall...whether it be George Carlin or Richard Pryor or Bill Cosby or Eddie Murphy or Sam Kinison or Monty Python or whatever I could afford.

I would go on to write silly articles for the school paper, pull dumb pranks and be voted the class clown. I would even run for Homecoming Queen and almost be expelled from high school. I would grow older and still do silly bits and do funny things that were only funny to me, whether alone in front of the mirror or in front of full house on an improv stage.

And it all started with a nerdy kid who heard "Like A Surgeon" on the radio and fell in love with this amazing thing called comedy...and it still makes me feel like that little kid all over again any time I hear his latest song.

Thanks, Al.

(Inspired by Weird Al's latest video, "White and Nerdy")

You can't have it all.

2006-09-15T08:35:00.000-05:00

I'm a Japanese corporation! A corporation that owns Sega!

But wait a second...

Damn.

Wheeeee!

2006-09-14T16:39:00.000-05:00

Nintendo Wii promo video from Japan.

Wow.

Good combo! Bad combo!

2006-09-13T09:17:00.000-05:00

Hey! You got your Bloodsport in my Mentos!

You got your Mentos in my Bloodsport!

Mmmmmmm...

* * *

Hey! You got your Audrey Hepburn in my AC/DC!

You got your AC/DC in my Audrey Hepburn!

YUCK!!!

Studio 60

2006-09-12T23:14:00.000-05:00

Can't wait to see Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip next Monday?

Me neither.

Clickity clack here to see the first episode online.

EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!

2006-09-12T13:03:00.000-05:00

Auf'd!
Too skinny models banned from Madrid Fashion Week!

Bond!
He's one bad mother-- Shut your mouth! I'm just talkin' 'bout Bond, James Bond!

Brent!
Microsoft Training video featuring David Brent of The Office!

Darkon!
Adrenalized nerds with pointy objects!

Doh!
Butterfinger astronauts!

Light!
This ain't your father's Hypercolor!

Safety net? Just jump!

2006-09-12T11:46:00.000-05:00

This morning I couldn't stop smiling.

I even laughed out loud a couple of times.

I was 3 hours late for work.

When I got in, I went to my boss's office and gave my notice.

I'm finished the last week of October.

I don't have a jobby job lined up.

I don't have any cash stashed.

I don't have any real plan in particular.

And I don't care.

I'll figure it out as go along.

And not knowing, not caring and just jumping into uncertainty feels great.

Assorted Silliness

2006-09-11T18:21:00.000-05:00

Savor the nuances of 300 different versions of the Popcorn Song.

* * *

Behold the beauty of Tiki Art!

* * *

Bask in the crayola explosion of color and creepatacular hornilicious A.D.D. video for the Japanese-only PS2 game, Super Galdelic Hour. (About 2 minutes or so into the video, the "gameplay" begins.)

* * *

Submit to Nine Inch Nails/Star Trek, a slashfic video mashup gone horribly hilarious.

* * *

Chill to an acoustic cover of Outkast's "Hey Ya!" that, unbelievably, is pretty good!

* * *

Finally...

THE. BEST. MUSIC. VIDEO. EVER.

Knights of Cydonia

...And Still Yet Once Again...

2006-09-10T17:04:00.000-05:00

The Ghost of TourCo Auditions Past (Interlude)

And so, the next audition will be my sixth go at it; I've auditioned three times for SC-Chicago and twice for SC-Detroit.

Lucky number six, here I come...

...And Still Yet Again...

2006-09-10T16:45:00.000-05:00

The Ghost of TourCo Auditions Past (pt 4)

Just a month later, in February 2005, SC-Chicago held another audition.

" I'm blanking out, but I think this upcoming SC Audition will be my fifth or sixth for SC (two in Detroit, two or three in Chicago). SC supposedly tracks your progress from audition to audition, so if anything, I just hope to put in a good audition and that's that. Auditioning for Detroit and auditioning for Chicago are such different beasts for me--Detroit was my shot at going home a conquering hero while Chicago is just...I dunno...just another audition in Chicago.

You know what's hilarious? People try so hard to get to the mainstage they never think about what happens after you're done with SC...or SC is done with you. There's a performer who did SC TourCo and SC e.t.c. That person still does improv in Chicago...

...but they are now a waiter in a restuarant in my office building.

If that doesn't keep you humble, nothing else will.

* * *

It only took two days (out of four) to fill up all the audition slots--several hundred audition slots.

* * *

I left work early and caught a cab up to Second City.

I hit Old Town Ale House and slugged down a Guinness while chatting with Shelby and Kara (who just auditioned) and then swung over to the theater. After checking in, I chatted and bitted with some of the folks I knew. I forgot how fun pre-Audition bits can be. Andy St. Clair called the 3:25 pm group over and took us to warm-up. Of the 7 other folks I'd be auditioning with, I knew 2--Steve Waltien and Piero Procaccini...my roommate. Hilarious. Of the hundreds of people I could audition with, I end up in the same group as my roommate.

After a few brief warm-up games, we went back outside and soon Beth Klingerman called us into the Skybox. And away we go.

Line up on stage.
Say name and one non-theater fact about yourself.
Quick slew of scenes.
Longer two-person scenes.
Done.

In the slew, Mick would call your name, you'd start a scene and someone would join you. Scene would go on until Mick calls it. I just went in, did a few different characters and that was that.

When the two-person scenes rolled around, Mick had us sit down and told us he'd call two folks up to do a longer scene. I could have swore he said they'd be about "a minute long." In past years, they didn't really quantify it. A minute? It turned out to be more "as long as Mick wants to watch your scene"--but at least you had the knowledge your "longer" scene might not actually be all that long.

Mick called the first pair up. OK. Six left. Who could I be paired with? Please let it be Steve or Piero. Nah, that won't happen.

Mick called the second pair up. Huh. Still have a shot at doing a scene with either Steve or Piero. That'd be nice.

Mick called the third pair up, with Steve being one of the two. Well, there you go, I rarely see Piero at home and have never done a scene with him ever, and now our first scene together will be at SC TourCo auditions. Dig it. Sneaking a look at Mick, scribbling notes on a sheet of paper, I wonder if he put us together on purpose.

Mick finally calls Piero and I up. Instead of a location like the three other pairs, we get a relationship. Piero drives the scene with some great choices and I go along for the ride.

And like that, it's done.

We head out of the theater. I say howdy to a few folks and then go back to the Old Town Ale House for the traditional post-audition drink up. Shelby, Kara, Steve Waltien, Marc Ovies, Erin Davidson, Dunbar Dix, Josh Chamberlain, Katie Neff all end up over there.

So, another year, another audition.

Now back to the improv trenches!"

(Piero is currently my roommate and does a ton of directing work for SC. Katie Neff is the girlfriend of my and Piero's ex-roommate, Steve Kaminski, and she currently performs with SC-Las Vegas.)

...And Yet Again...

2006-09-10T16:41:00.000-05:00

The Ghost of TourCo Auditions Past (pt 3)

In January of 2005, SC-Detroit held auditions for Mainstage/TourCo. I scheduled a slot, rented a car and made my way back home...

"By 7:15 am, I had picked up the car, rounded up a fellow improvisor and was on the road towards Ann Arbor. My friend sacked out to Dar Williams and I drove us into the misty Michigan morning.

During the long quiet drive, I stared out into the thin mist shrouding the countryside and briefly imagined this was my metaphorical crossing into the Underworld. I was the archetypal improvisor with a thousand faces.

Then I laughed at how stupid that was.

Then I considered it some more.

Then I yawned and forgot all about it.

Sleep deprivation and stress does weird things.

I cut it close, but I managed to park and make it to the theater by my check in time--almost 12 on the dot. A sign pointed me up a steep flight of wooden stairs to a space above Improv Inferno (Dan Izzo, owner of the Improv Inferno and former Chicagoan, had graciously donated his space for SC Detroit auditions). A few people were scattered around the cluttered room, although there was an area for us to warm-up, the space was under renovation. I checked in with a pair of ladies at at folding table and found I had a few minutes to kill, so I jaunted across the street to Starbucks for a water and a mocha, chatted with some Chicago people and came right back.

My group was small. Only 5 people! (In Chicago, your SC audition group would probably be 8 folks.) Not only that, I knew Jen Malinsky, and was introduced to another Chicago improvisor Josh Eakright. Since we all were from Chicago, we yapped a bit about things going on back home. I found it funny because the CIN boards were quiet about the audition--no one really has brought it up and I hadn't heard much around about other peeps heading out for this audition, so to have a couple of performers from home in the group was nice.

Kathy, one of the check in ladies, warmed us up in with quick rounds of stretching, Eights and a circle warm-up that combined name games and passing the clap. While warming up, the previous audition group came clambering up the stairs to collect their belongings. I spied yet another Chicago performer, Thea Lux, and an old Detroit face, Ken Wood. Kathy left us with the note that the auditors specifically mentioned they wanted to see character work and that playing any favorite characters you had in the audition was A-OK.

Sidenote: One of the things I noticed as the day wore on was the interpretation of the "show clothes" directive for the audition--the Detroit folks I knew really dressed up for the audition with dress pants, dress shirt, tie and jacket (TourCo/Mainstage standard) whilst most of the Chicago peeps seemed to stick with simple black clothing or business casual (comfortable but classy IO/PG standard).

We walked downstairs and entered the Improv Inferno proper. It's a long, narrow space but definitely had a cool vibe about it--even empty on a Tuesday at 12:30.

We took to the small, elevated wooden platform and lined up. Marc Warzecha introduced himself. He would be leading this audition. We were told to step forward, introduce ourselves, say where we were from and then tell one non-improv, non-theater fact about ourselves. For my intro, I mentioned how my dad was a Sunni muslim from Palestine and my mom a Roman Catholic Filippino and, surprise, they are divorced. While everyone else did their intros, I scouted the auditors. Even though they were in the dark, they were only about 15 feet away from us. Hello, intimate. I recognized Kirk, a former SC-Detroit Mainstager, was pleasantly surprised to see Beth Klingerman from SC-Chicago. The fourth person, I think was a lady and I'm guessing that's the new executive producer for SC-Detroit.

I did a super-quick auditor check off in the my head--I know 3 of 4 the auditors, 2 of which have only seen me at Chicago auditions and the third who hasn't seen me perform since I left Detroit. While it didn't affect my approach to my audition, it did make me comfortable level by knowing who was there watching.

I also knew that this slot was the last audition of the morning and the auditors were going to have lunch next. Theoretically this is the slot to avoid because the auditors are probably burnt out and thinking about getting some grub. Since choosing an audition slot was out of my control, all I can do is simply acknowledge that I have to work a little harder to make an impression...and with any luck be a pre-lunch highlight.

We started out with a quick slew of scenes--Marc would call out someone's name, that person initiate a new scene and then somebody else would join them. My scenework itself was meh, but I made sure the instant my name was called I would say something, ANYTHING, as I came off the backline and strode downstage--long, deliberate pauses at the top of a scene during a slew come across as stalling or fear, so I made sure I seized the stage. I also did my best to mix it up when I could. A few bits and a few characters later and that was that.

Then, we switched on over into longer two-person scenes. We were paired off by Marc and did our stuff in turn. The suggestion of "Art Fair" was given to me and my partner. I made a quick decision that I wanted to break beyond the boundaries of the small stage, so I walked off the platform at the top of scene. But instead of pushing and furthering the choice I made, I rooted myself to one spot just offstage. Blergh. Follow your instinct and follow through with your instinct. Other than the strange staging, I thought scene was alright.

Usually to wrap up a typical SC audition, you close with Freeze Tag if you have time, but Marc instead hit us with Conducted Story. I was a little surprised but absolutely game for it. I was lucky and blessed with "Jack Kerouac" as my style for storytelling. I say blessed because while I don't read much beat poetry, but I love spoken word. So, still miffed for not following my instincts in the two-person scene, I pushed and pushed hard into stream-of-consciousness freestyle associating. I committed my balls off and it felt great. It felt even better being the story teller that closed it out. Hopefully it was a nice high note for the morning audition session to end on for the auditors.

* * *

During the lunch break, Dan Izzo gave a couple of us a tour of his theater and we chatted improv/theater biz. (Again, it's an awesome space I'll do my best to get some pix.)

* * *

That afternoon, we ran into Brett Lyons and Erica Noschang and decided to grab a quick dinner after everyone's Erica's auditions. It was great, just fucking great, to have a solid audition and then go and bullshit over food with funny folks. 240 miles from home and we're doing bits, being silly and cracking our shit up, all after an audition that could really be a stepping stone in our improv careers.

To be honest, that dinner was the highlight of the trip.

Screw the audition.

* * *

Every minute feels like an eternity.

The worst part is waiting.

* * *

At 4:17 pm on Thursday, January 6th, 2005, the Corner Man of my ego threw in the towel.

The Corner Man had held onto towel, against his better judgment, from 1 p.m. until 4:16 p.m. Knowing my battered ego could take no more, the Corner Man finally let fly and watched the bloody towel arc onto the canvas.

The Contender was no champ, not this time, the Corner Man thought, but he was still a fighter...and there are still many other fights on many other nights yet to come.

But this fight was over. This night was done.

And no matter what lessons were learned, what wisdom the Corner Man would spout, the Contender would only think that a loss is still a loss...and some hurt way more than others."

(Erica Noschang would go on to perform at Boom! Chicago. Strangely enough, tonight, September 10th, is the last night the Improv Inferno will be open at that space. The landlords jacked the rent up on Dan Izzo and he decided to relocate elsewhere.)

...And Again...

2006-09-10T16:27:00.000-05:00

The Ghost of TourCo Auditions Past (pt 2)

October of 2003 was my next audition for SC-Chicago's TourCo. From my old journal:

"On Sunday, I took an audition workshop taught by Liz Cackowski. Not only did she give us great insight into the audition process, she also gave us tools and strategies to take into the audition itself. It was very enlightening--especially for someone like me who hasn't auditioned in two years because I cast and produce my own little improv projects. This is a good time to be auditioning because there are only two understudies right now, two Tour Co people are leaving soon and (unofficially) another two are planning to leave also. So, all three Second City Touring Companies will be looking for people.

One of the most surprising things was the caliber of performers who were taking the workshop. I was really surprised at who was in it. Performers who rock my world also were there to pick up tips and pointers along with the audition newbies. It definitely made me feel a bit better about being rusty at auditioning and having to take a workshop.

Tuesday morning I strut my stuff.

Cross those fingers folks.

* * *

Magnificent Bastards. All of 'em.

* * *

I left work at 10 and made it over to Second City via the Brown Line around 10:30. On the way to Piper's Alley, where all the SC theaters are located, I ran into some people I knew (Rebecca Hanson, Chad Reinhart, Scott Goodman, Angela Faruggia) who had just auditioned. We chatted a bit and went our separate ways. I went to Starbucks, ran into another improvisor (Erin), grabbed the Trib's sports section and tried to forget why the hell I was there.

No dice.

Every time I looked out the window, it seemed like I saw an improvisor I knew. Every time I closed my eyes and tried to focus on something, anything (!), other than improv all I could do was think of initiations and characters and scenes and what ifs and what thens.

So I gave up.

I just sat there, nibbled on my Banana Nut Bread, slurped my Grande Soy Mocha (with whip) and let my mind wander. I knew there was no way to rein in my nervous A.D.D. brain, so I tried to enjoy anxiety-induced ride while the bank clock on the other side of Wells took forever to reach 11:15 a.m.

I knew how I wanted to attack this audition. I knew that I would be playing with people I was familiar with (but didn't know exactly who just yet). I knew who would be auditing us. I knew that I would be nervous no matter how cool and casual I wanted to be.

I finally left Starbucks and took the escalators up to the top floor of Piper's Alley. John Lutz's laughter echoed down from Donny's Skybox "lounge" area. (Lutz, a current Tour Co performer, would be our warm-up/advice guy for the auditions.)

After checking in, I finally found out who I would be auditioning with. Eric Rutherford. Marc Ovies. Shelly Gossman. Ryan Gowland. Katie Nahnsen. Cesar Jamie.

The last couple of weeks, I had made it a point not to find out who I would be playing with...it was a superstition thing. Now that I knew who I was with, I was totally blown away by who I would be doing scenes with--I knew everybody and everybody was a damn fine player! We chatted and yapped for a bit before Lutz took us next door to the Training Center and to warm us up. We did a simple name game / "yes" exercise. Lutz then gave us a little advice on the audition and told us that we were very lucky to be playing with such a talented group of people in our audition. He was about take us back out to the Skybox when a new person, that none of us knew, arrived.

Lutz had mentioned someone was running late earlier, but I forgot about it once warm-ups began. Well, here she was. I felt a bit awkward--everyone in the group had either played with each other in the past, currently performed in an ensemble with one another or at least hung out socially...and now this girl was stepping into this unknowingly. Not only that, she had missed the warm-ups and the banter of earlier. We did a quick round of introductions and then stepped out into the Skybox lounge.

Beth Klingerman popped out from the theater to grab our headshots and told us it'd be a few minutes.

Waiting for Beth to come out again felt like forever.

During that wait, that's when it hit; that's when it all felt real--that I was auditioning for Second City. After years of training and performing, I finally felt comfortable auditioning again at Second City and this was my moment to step out and serve notice that I was a solid player.

During the sleepness night before, I thought about some of my improv heroes who have never performed at Second City, like Joe Bill, Mark Sutton and Paul Gronde. You don't need SC to succeed, but it's definitely a rush to be a part of such a storied organization.

The other underlying motivation I had was to have a solid audition in front of Marc Warzecha (former SC Detroit Mainstage, current TourCo director) and Nancy Hayden (also former SC Detroit, current SC Detroit producer). None of the people who I really looked up to in Detroit who have moved to Chicago have seen me perform. I really wanted to do well just to show that, hey, I came out here, put in the time and I'm doing alright...and if I ever moved back to Detroit, maybe I could leverage a solid audition into a SC Detroit TourCo understudy gig.

Beth came back out and we headed into the Skybox.

Mick Napier was running the audition. Even though Mick's not a current SC director or performer, SC respects him enough to have Mick run things. We got on the stage, listened to Mick's quick audition advice spiel and began the standard SC audition--intros, quick scenes, slower two-person scenes, pick-up scenes.

To start an SC audition, the group lines up on the stage. One by one, the performers introduce themselves by saying their names and then revealing one non-theater related fact about themself. I ended up being the last one and went with, "My name is Sammy Tamimi. My mother is Filipino. My Father is Palestinian. And at least once a day, no matter where I am in Chicago, the Loop, in a restaurant, wherever, some one tries to speak Spanish to me. I'm trying to teach myself Italian, but I'm considering learning Spanish just to make my life easier."

Eric Rutherford, bless his heart, simply said, "I'm Eric Rutherford and I want a saxaphone."

Intros complete, Mick began the audition in earnest...

* * *

The first part of the audition is simple.

The 8 performers form a backline. Mick calls out a name. That person steps forward to do a scene. Anyone can join them. Mick will call scene and then name someone else to for the next scene. That's it.

These are quick scenes, not necessarily bitty but definitely gamey. Mick even told us that this would be the time to take chances and that we should show our range of characters--we would be doing slower scenes later.

Tips culled from the Audition Workshop and from veteran improvisors about this part of the audition:

*Your first line should be about you, your partner or the environment*
"I'm so in love with you!" "You don't look so good..." "Your yacht is magnificent!" etc. Establish the who, what and where --and the game-- early. The scene won't last that long but you need hit the basics hard and fast.

*Make strong choices*
Have an emotion. Have a physicality. Take a chance. Endow yourself and give your partner something to play off of. But remember...

*Keep it simple*
Simple ideas and simple initiations are best. You don't have time to puzzle out a complicated initiation or off-kilter response.

*Play a range of characters*
Be aware if you're playing the same type of character over and over. You'll get 3 or 4 chances to switch it up at the top of the audition so take advantage of that opportunity. (Some people have told me that this part of the audition is the place to showcase the types of characters you do well--it's not cheating by playing a character type you do well (dumb jock, midwest mom) because you're still improvising; you're just showing to the auditors your character range.)

So, Mick begins the round of short scenes...

...and I get a little rattled.

As I watch scenes fly by, I realize I'm not getting out there. Sometimes I start to step forward, see someone else also moving and I let 'em go on instead. When I get out there, the scene gets called pretty quick. I return to the backline not liking what I just put out there. I start to worry about how I'm standing on the backline. Is my posture defensive? Am I blocking anyone? Am I paying enough attention? These are among the things that battle with my stage focus. I watch my fellow auditioners rock out and attack the stage. I get out a couple of more times and feel good about one scene out of the bunch.

Mick ends the first part of the audition. He has us sit in the front row of the theater and introduces the next part of the audition, the two-person scene. He'll name two people. Those people will take the stage, get a suggestion and do a two person scene for a couple of minutes.

I sit down and manage to rally my focus while the first scene is going on. The first part of the audition is over and done with, I tell myself. Gotta just go out and do a good scene. That's all that matters.

I get called up second with Ryan Gowland. Candy Store owner and Candy Store customer scene with the simple game of he knows I'm filching candy and I try to distract him with flattery or whatnot. Fun scene that I take my hat off to Ryan for setting up and driving home. I came off the stage feeling good about that scene and knew, that if anything, at least I was in a good two-person scene.

While the two-person scenes are going on, I heard Mick moving around the room, checking in with (I assume) the TourCo directors. After all 8 people have cycled through, there's usually time for a couple more scenes and the people the TourCo directors or Mick want to see again go up for another two-person scene. Being called up is neither a good thing or a bad thing--for whatever reason, they want to see you improvise some more (which can be good, but if you tank it, that can be bad).

After a pair of extra scenes (I was in neither), Mick thanked us and let us know that the calls would go out Wednesday night and callbacks would be Friday.

With that, we left the theater and went back to the lobby.

We stood around chatting and talking about the audition--there were some hot, hot scenes cooked up by this crew. A couple of us went to the dive bar known as the Ale House and had a couple of beers, spending the first few minutes lost in that quiet and weird relief/contemplation limbo that follows an audition. Drinking a couple pints on a nearly empty stomach got me a bit buzzed.

After catching a train with Andrea Swanson (and comparing audition notes and discusing KOKO biz) , I finally made it back to work by 2 pm. I had been gone 4 hours. I hid in the back room and replayed and analyzed the audition in my head until 5 rolled around. Office productivity yesterday was near zero. I treated myself to Kill Bill after work and called it an early night when I got home--I was emotionally and physically drained.

And now, a day later, I still cringe a little bit when I think about my audition. I'm sure it was par for the course--nothing spectacular but nothing atrocious either. I feel like I could have done much better, but I'm glad I had a good scene with Ryan to remember this year's audition by.

Now, I'm not hopeful about getting a phone call from SC for callbacks...but I am hopeful for all my friends...

* * *

On the Red Line home from work, I run into Tony Seales. We compare audition notes and chat. He hopes he gets called back but doesn't think he will. We part ways at Addison.

I head over to the Currency Exchange by Cornelia and Broadway because ComEd doesn't think I'm real. Well, they didn't put exactly that way, but that's how it came out. When I called ComEd to get the electric in my name, I was told I had to go to a Currency Exchange to fill out an application to prove I was who I said I was. Huh? Probably some roundabout way of saying, "You have shitty credit. We want your info on file."

For those of you who don't know what a Currency Exchange is, it's basically a run-down storefront financial institution that makes a profit from various transactions. They can cash checks, write money orders, directpay utility bills for you, make change, etc., but they tack on service charges that add up. They also sell CTA passes, parking stickers, license plate renewals, phone cards and other things a Chicago person might need.

The person who uses the Currency Exchange the most is the one who can least afford it--usually the poor, indigent or illegal who can't (or won't) have an account at a bank are the ones who most likely to use a local Currency Exchange for all their financial needs. And since the Currency Exchange makes money off every transaction...

After filling out the ComEd application and paying $2.50 to have it processed, I decided to hop on the old weighing scale that cost only a nickel.

280 lbs.

On the nose.

(C'mon body, let's find a new, lower setpoint for ourselves, ok?)

I waddled over to Salt & Pepper, running into and walking with a lady improvisor part of the way. I loved the fact that she had a 12-pack of beer and a grocery bag full of chips. I offered to carry the beer for her, but she declined ;)

And, of course, we talked about SC auditions.

She had a great story--In Starbucks, right before she was to audition, her belt broke. Her pants were loose and would show her underwear if she bent over or moved too much and she was beginning to panic. Luckily, a male improvisor who she knew just happened to be in Starbucks--he had already auditioned earlier in the day! And like the true gentleman he was, he loaned her his belt for the audition.

Yes and... and support, people! Ain't it beautiful?

I rolled into S&P and stuffed myself into a booth. Tony Seales came in a little later and sat in the booth behind me. I read my Onion and had my coffee. He read his copy of Something Wonderful Right Away.

His cellphone rang. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but the way he answered and the manner in which he spoke really caught my ear. I turned around and looked at him. Through his replies I figured it out.

He was getting called back!

I was beyond psyched! Not even 2 hours ago he said he didn't think he'd get called back and that even if he was, he'd being onstage at ImprovOlympic and wouldn't know until way later. And, at random, here he was at Salt & Pepper reading his Second City history book, waiting for his IO team and he gets the call from Beth Klingerman. Rock!

After he hung up, I gave him a high five and congratulated him. I went back to my booth and when April, the S&P waitress, walked by I leaned over and whispered to her that I would be buying Tony's dinner that night--it was my way of saying congrats :)

After that, I tried to read my newspaper. I was way happy for Seales but I was also a little sad inside--I knew I wouldn't getting that call, not that I deserved it, but it still stung to know that.

Well...there's always next year.

I hope."

(Not only did Tony get called back, he got hired as an understudy! From my audition group Ryan Gowland would go on to perform with Boom! Chicago. Shelly Gossman would get picked up for TourCo and is currently at SC-Las Vegas. Eric Rutherford would also get picked up and do the TourCo thing. Katie Nahnsen can be seen Sports Action Team on NBC.)

...Try, Try Again...

2006-09-10T15:58:00.000-05:00

The Ghost of TourCo Auditions Past (pt 1)

Sometime in 1998 was my first TourCo audition, for SC-Detroit, back when they had a TourCo...and were actually located in Detroit. I had just finished Level 1, so I'll let you imagine how bad it was.

January, 2001 was second TourCo audition, my first for SC-Chicago. From my old journal about that audition:

"Re-read Peter’s advice to those auditioning for TourCo. Reminded myself that almost no-one gets it on their first try. Promised to make a proper resume for future auditions. Tried to focus myself on positive thoughts. Honestly, I just wanted to have a solid audition—I wanted to represent myself well. What you want and what you get are two different things…

I got off work early and traveled up to SC from the Loop. I was starving, so I decided to catch lunch at Boston Market. Guess what…that’s right…ran into more improvisers! I sat down with Bob Ladewig and Paul O’Toole and some people they knew and we just bullshitted for a bit.

Bob was one of the first people I met out here…he was also one of the first improvisers I met —he was working at Borders and I had my SC Detroit hat on. We started talking about improv and I found out he was on the Rooftop Players who were in the middle of their record setting Cagematch run (like 15 or 16 wins). He’s one of my favorite people to talk to and one of my favorite improvisers to watch. Plus, he’s an all around good guy who just got engaged to his 7-year(!) girl friend (she’s 22, you do the math).

They left and I had lunch, then caught a mocha-something at Starbucks. I went up to the SC E.T.C. theater for my audition.

Basically, there was a lone table set up with some water and a piece of paper telling auditioning improvisers what was up. Among my auditioning group was Tim Chidester, Stacy from Dinner of Six, a guy from Salsation (who I always talk to when one of us is drunk).

It was hard to relax. I mean, you got Chidester dancing around, warming himself up and this huge mural of SC alumni hanging over your head—so between glances at Tim and the weight of Belushi, Candy and Short pressing down on me, it was a miracle I didn’t scream. I felt bad when one of the other auditioners (Joe? Joel?) asked if I wanted to do warm up scenes and I said no...I just wasn't in the right frame of mind just yet.

A lady came out, took our resumes and headshots (or in my case, made a disappointed “oh” noise when I said I didn’t have one) and led us into the theater.

As we took the stage, I looked out at the first row of evaluators and saw TJ Jagodowski, which made me warm and fuzzy ‘cuz he’s a cool guy. I’d like to say I didn’t care who evaluated us, but it’s reassuring to know someone you like is out there.

Mick Napier stepped forward and asked us to say one thing about ourselves not related to improv or theater. The topper from the 6 of us? A guy had just returned from the Israeli army where he had blown up a dog with a rocket launcher.

No shit.

Apparently, to confuse infrared thermal sights, Hezbollah guerillas crawl on all fours and tie on a “tail”—pretending to be a dog (while having a rocket launcher of their own strapped to their back). So, Joey shot the dog 'just in case' it was a guerilla.

It was a big dog.

It pretty much stopped the audition in its tracks. He was fifth and Stacy was sixth. Jesus. Glad I wasn’t last. She was like, “I don’t think I could top that.” So she said was from Kentucky and Mick made some comment how they were both from Hazzard county and made some joke and everyone laughed.

We did some quick scenes—Mick calls out a name and that person starts a scene and someone else joins them. I was in three I believe. I remember thinking how my first two characters were kinda low-status/low-energy/clingy types and that I wanted to shift gears for the third time out with a contrasting character. I can’t remember if I made it out again.

After a few minutes of this, we switched gears and took seats in the audience as two selected improvisers went up to do longer scenework. While sitting in the audience and with no stagelights in my eyes, I saw Josh Funk and Gelman among others watching the auditions. There must have been like 10 – 15 people watching the audition (not all were evaluating, but that’s sure a lot of people).

Anyways, I go up with Joey (Joel?), the Israeli Defense Force guy. We did a scene in a greenhouse where we grew pot. Very plotty and kinda blah. The only laugh was on the out line.

(Tangent--about laughs in auditions: I don’t care if I get laughs. I hope I do, but I don’t care if I don’t if my partner and I did good, involving scenework. However, it’s like insult to injury if you do a sucky, non-funny scene. It’s the silence after the scenes I’ve done lately that kills me. It’s not that good silence, the kind that means an audience was riveted and enthralled, but the bad silence, the kind that hangs there heavy and uncomfortable because everyone has now lost 5 minutes of their life to bad improv.)

Chidester did well. So did the girl he knew. The guy from Salsation did a scene with Stacy that was textbook on finding the game in a scene and heightening the fuck out of it. I was laughing hard at it.

And that was that. I didn’t even check my watch to see how long we went. I’m gonna guess maybe 20 minutes. I walked out, said howdy to bunch people I knew and shuffled out into the cold. Honestly, I gave serious thought to going and getting shitfaced I was so bummed at my performance."

(Bob is one of the nicest and funniest people you could ever know. Say howdy to him, you won't be sorry.)

If at first you don't succeed...

2006-09-10T14:54:00.000-05:00

Second City announces TourCo Auditions.

First Reaction: Anxiety

Second Reaction: Resignation

Third Reaction: Amused Reminiscence

Fourth Reaction: Hope

ANXIETY
This is an audition for Second City.

RESIGNATION
Crap, this is my sixth audition for Second City.

AMUSED REMINISCENCE
Crap, this is my sixth audition for Second City and, man-o-man, were some of those true stinkeroonis.

HOPE
Crap, this is my sixth for Second City and, man-o-man, were some of those true stinkeroonis but what the hell, I'll give it another go.

Who knows what will happen.

If I don't put myself out there, only one thing is for sure...

...nothing will happen.

I know the passionate seizure of beauty

2006-09-10T12:08:00.000-05:00

And just who the hell am I?

Sammy Tamimi, a performer/director/producer by night, Chicago nerd/layabout by day.

Professionally: Trained at Second City-Detroit, Chicago City Limits, ImprovOlympic, Second City-Chicago and The Annoyance. Taker of many workshops, maker of many more, producer of a couple shows, performer in a crap ton more.

Personally: I've washed dishes, bussed tables, served food, rented cars, messengered packages, rented pool tables, made pizzas, rented tennis courts, given plasma, coached tennis, delivered bread, temped offices, monitored newscasts, collected unemployment, admin assisted and drove an airport shuttle bus in circles until I wanted to scream. I've worked first shift, second shift, third shift, doubleshift and doubletime. I've been hired & fired, re-hired & re-fired, been laid off or have walked out or just never showed up again. And these are just the ones I remember...

...and I've probably made more in a month or two at any of those jobs than I have earned in my whole improv career.

Yet here I am.

An improvisor in Chicago.

(title courtesy of Chicago son, Carl Sandburg)

And so it begins...again.

2006-09-10T00:49:00.000-05:00

After 6 years of blogging in a journal or two, you'd figure I'd be done with all this hoohah.

You figured wrong.