Catch Knee If You Can
Today, I figured out two things:
#1 The intern at the hospital put the immobilizer on my leg upside down. I was wondering why it fit so poorly and took it off, noticed some writing on the side, and flipped it around. Much better.
#2 Always have the attending doctor double check the intern's work.
I can put some more weight on my knee now, but with the 5-day window between the ER visit and the Ortho appointment, coupled with the the complete lack of pain, has me paranoid my knee is absolutely jacked beyond jacked, doublejacked if you will,
Freejacked if you won't.
Knee, myself and I
Friday, unavoidably, I had to do some running around. Or hobbling to be more exact. Slow, sweaty, old man hobbling. Nothing like a fat guy on crutches, my friends.
Jumped in a cab to Starbucks to get my paltry paycheck. Hopped a bus to Thorek to get a copy of my x-rays. Grabbed a cab to Corus Bank to deposit aforementioned paltry paycheck. Snagged yet another cab to get home. Collapsed on couch for several hours. Attempted to clean my room. Slept better.
Saturday, luckily, I got to sleep in. Then I finished some of my cleaning and then zoned in and out during football.
THINGS THAT SUCK SO FAR:Learning how to use crutches...when you can't bend your bad leg.
Getting exhausted easily from crutching around...then getting super frustrated from the fact I'm exhausted.
The sheer annoyance factor of not being able to do simple household chores.
Living on the third floor of a three-story walk up.
Googling ACL surgery costs and just dying at the quoted totals.
THINGS THAT DON'T SUCK SO FAR:Very nice e-mails and text messages from my friends.
My knee doesn't hurt. I have the occasional discomfort, but no real pain.
Not feeling guilty about sleeping on the couch at any point in the day.
THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT IN THE FUTURE:(all pending the results of Wednesday's Orthopedic visit)Money. I can't work at Starbucks unless I can stand for a couple of hours. Just when I was crawling out of the financial pit... although if they let me sit in a stool and just run register, I might be back in business in a couple of weeks.
Improv Projects: Can't rehearse or perform with Bella due to my bum knee. Can't perform with BYB. Luckily, I can still run the Sandbox on Mondays and run BYB on Thursdays. I can still coach and sub-coach, but then it comes down to $ to get to rehearsal vs. $ earned.
Moving: I was supposed to move out at the end of this month. After a little over three years at Halsted and Addison, it was time to move on. Bum knee and money complicates things greatly.
BUT THE THING IS...I'm still a good-natured optimist. Things happen for a reason and it all eventually works itself out. So, I'm strapping in for the ride and hoping for the best (or at the least, hoping for not the worst). Ever since I quit my Loop job last year, my life has been a chaotic mess. A delightful, entertaining mess to be sure, but a mess nonetheless.
Chronicles of Kneernia
The End? Not so much.
* * *
Sonofabitch.
Thursday night during the Big Yellow Bus, I did a jumping kick to support the move of Jorin, who was playing a soldier of Blood Squad Alpha. I landed badly, felt a pair of pops in my left knee and tumbled to the ground. During the rest of the scene, I just laid there, clenching my teeth and breathing deeply.
Oh man. My knee. Oh man. It didn't hurt. In fact it was slightly tingly bordering on numb. As Jorin did some sort of justification bit, I just laid there, trying to gather myself.
It's the next scene? Dammit.I wasn't sure if I should move yet, so I slowly pulled myself forward once or twice, meowing like a cat every so often.
Ok. Ok. Slowly work your way off stage...dammit, another scene.After laying still for a bit, I pulled forward. Then, hearing a scene opportunity, I just rolled over and played an interpreter in the scene, albeit one laying on the ground.
Edited! Get off. Get off. Almost there...phew.I chanced standing up.
My left knee slid all over the place.
Fuck me.
I rolled over, set myself against the wall by the entrance and sat out the remainder of the show...just sitting on the floor and looking up at Matt Larsen, that night's host, standing in the wings.
* * *
After the show, I got pulled up into a chair by the entrance and chatted with the performers about my knee. Kat went to get her car to drive me to the hospital. Meanwhile, I bid goodnight to the patrons as they filed out. I even tried to hold the sponsorship meeting I had planned with that night's opening ensemble, The Riot! After a certain point I'm sure I was just babbling and they went off to do their own thing. Even though I was doing bits and making conversation, my mind was already locked in on one thing
I have no health insurance. Fuck me.* * *
At Thorek, the attendant plopped my 300 pound frame into a wheelchair. He then promptly wheeled my bad leg into a wall. No shit. I laughed through my grimace. Of course I'd get my leg banged up more at the hospital. Heightening!
--Doing a bit for Gotsick's cameraphone--
Kat and I did bits, joked with the staff and listened in on the other cases being attended. I wasn't in pain, just discomfort; my knee felt bloated on the inside, but no real pain. Hell, I was sending text messages to pass the time. Eventually, a doc came and looked at my knee and confirmed what I thought--probable ACL injury.
Fuck.
I told Kat to go home since I had no idea how long I would be there waiting for X-Rays and whatnot. The X-Rays came back fine, I was given an immobilizer, crutches and a prescription for Vicodin (which I haven't turned in or used because I'm not in pain, well, not in my kneeball, but my armpits chafe something fierce). I took a cab home, crawled assfirst up three flights of narrow stairs in the dark, sent some e-mails out to friends, then crashed on my couch since my bed is in a loft and slept fitfully to the noises of drunk gay men and party girls yapping the night away.
The End
The End. For now.
