YESTERDAY: "Thursday, I'll send out (yet another) batch of Craigslist and Chicago Reader resumes then I'll tromp around to various biznesseseses in my area and try to score a gig."
Well, I made a liar of myself.
Woke up late, did laundry and went out for a coffee before The Riot's rehearsal.
Shame on me.
EDITED: OK, I sent a bunch of resumes after posting this. So I'm not a total liar, but definitely a procrastinator.
Thursday, I'll send out (yet another) batch of Craigslist and Chicago Reader resumes then I'll tromp around to various biznesseseses in my area and try to score a gig. Part-time, full-time, slinging coffee, whatever.
A part-time gig would pay the bills, a full-time gig gets me back in the saddle; I need clothes, glasses, contacts, etc.
My W-2 stuff came in early and I e-filed right away, letting me catch up on rent and stuff, but wow, when I realized how much my return was, I almost crapped my pants. Almost. It saved my bacon and that was eminently crap-worthy if I do say so.
But man...in a way how awesome has this been? Directing groups and using that cash to buy groceries, or house managing and using that money for sundries.
Yeah, yeah, sure it's not like I had much of a choice, but it felt good in a way. I was earning money doing what I love, and then using that money for stuff I need.
That probably sounded dumb.
It was nice at times to think my only job for the last couple of months was directing and sub-coaching and while it didn't pay the rent, it took care of some of the other stuff.
* * *
Right now, I'm working with two groups, Wing Night and The Riot. Wing Night is a former Incubator ensemble that needed a director and I happened to subcoach and got the gig. The Riot is a current Incubator ensemble and I'm in the beginning part of my four-month tour with them (I'm the second director of three that will work with The Riot over a year). With Chrysalis Clark retired and my temporary hiatus from Big Yellow Bus due to Riot rehearsal/BYB show time conflict, I'm pretty much a two-ensemble guy with the occasional pick up show or subcoaching gig here or there along with the Incubator Auditions in February and the General Auditions in March brewing on the side.
The more I direct improv the more I feel this way about my ensembles:
Their successes are theirs; their failures are mine.
*
I told someone today regarding looking at leaving their ensemble and move on to a new one, specifically what they wanted in a new ensemble -- "Be honest with yourself. Don't lie. Because you'll only be angry at yourself when you realize the truth."
*
This article made me realize that for all the cynical memories I have of IO, I've forgotten all the good times, great times and superduperawesomest times I had there. I still visit on occasion, but the memories and feelings get all jumbled together every time I have a moment to myself and let the past sink in.
*
I will never feel like I've done enough. I will always feel I could've done more and done it better. One day I will make a list of everything I've accomplished and I know I'll look at it and wonder why it seems like so little.
PPPS Like "ohmygooddidhejustsaywhatIthoughthesaid" dumb.
PPPPS I was probably trying to be funny or something. And failed miserably. But the other stuff I said was probably funny.
PPPPPS Maybe. Probably not.
PPPPPPS If anything I'm earnest. And honest. And witty. And funny (mostly). And I listen to you because I'm genuinely interested in what you have to say. Isn't that what it's supposed to be about, that connection? That ineffable interaction between people?
PPPPPPPS But I'm not smooth. Not. At. All.
PPPPPPPPS I wish I could be a total dick jerkface sonofabitch motherfucker badass. But that's not me.
PPPPPPPPPS I wish I could be a Cassanova Romeo sexyabs sultrystubbleface. But that's not me either.
PPPPPPPPPPS But, yeah, girls I like you.
PPPPPPPPPPPS like like you.
PPPPPPPPPPPPS uh, yeah.
PPPPPPPPPPPPPS I mentioned the awkward thing, right?
Today Chrysalis Clark decided to retire. After a brief but honest chat on the sunny side steps of Gill Park, we had lunch and laughs at the nearby Horizon Cafe. I'm glad Chrysalis Clark decided it was a good time to move on and to end things on a positive note. It was a good year and a good run.
After 2 months of unemployment, I jumped at the the chance for a short gig and some quick cash. It's simple--handing out CTA U-Pass cards to DePaul students, but sitting all day at a table from 7:00 - 6:00 checking IDs and swiping cards is mindnumbing and soulsucking.
